Dating is one of the most brutal activities a single person can undertake. It is like a cross between a CIA interrogation and a job interview where you might end up naked at some point! The modern dating scene has gotten muddled over the years and it is hard to sort through the layers and facades that have gotten in the way of honest communications. As a single guy trying to navigate through the landmines of dating it seems that dating gets more and more complicated every day. I have tried to figure out why women date the guys that treat them badly and come crying to the guys that treat them good, or the women who play bait and switch games saying they want one thing and then act like they want another and actually want something totally different. Sometimes it feels like a life-size version of a con artist's shell game where you keep chasing the ball under the moving shells.

I recently came across an article by Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright that had some interesting ideas that I thought I would share. They are her "8 Sex & Relationship Resolutions for '08" and I found them interesting. They actually were part of an article talking about "The New Year's Eve Hook-Up, Do You or Don't You?". The article discussed hooking up for a new years kiss because a kiss is just a kiss - unless it is a New Year 's Eve kiss. I enjoyed the article, but I found the resolutions the best part of the article. The resolutions are definetly food for thought. I found them interesting and agreed with most of them with a few caveats.

1.) Interested in someone? Call instead of emailing or text messaging, as anything other than the old-fashioned love letter is cowardly.

I think it is important to take risks in dating. They don't always work out, and sometimes come back to bite you in the butt, however if you don't take a risk and let someone know your interested in them, you will never go out on any dates. A good friend of mine says "it doesn't cost anything to ask someone out, it only gets expensive when they say yes". Call someone, ask someone, write someone, email someone, or use smoke signals. However you want to let them know, just be sure you do!

2.) Reinvent sexy for yourself. This doesn't need to involve starlet "beaver shots," going commando or leaking homemade sex tapes to the press. It's simply reconsidering the way you look after yourself on a daily or nightly basis in your sensual self-care practices.

Sexy is a state of mind. It isn't just something you do or wear. If you want to find a way to reinvent yourself find a way to stimulate your. Open your mind and explore the possibilities.

3.) In a dead-end relationship? What are you waiting for - get out! Life's too short. Explore your eroticism.

If your relationship has failed and you know it get out. I am not advocating bailing out on a relationship at the first sign of resistance or minor disagreement. Too many people want relationships where they don't have any problems and everything goes picture perfect. Guess what? That doesn't happen. Relationships are a lot of work, some of it fun some of it hard, but it takes work by both partners to have a healthy and successful relationship. One a side note if your relationship involves abuse of any kind (emotional, sexual, physical) GET OUT NOW. Relationships need to be built on trust, respect, love and honesty. If your partner is abusive that is not love! You can not respect, trust or love someone that you abuse. It is time to be honest with the face in the mirror. If you are being abused and take the first step in healing and get out. If you need support call a friend or call me! Please don't let yourself be another victim for even one day more.

4.) Find out what turns you on as never before. Note: This does not need to involve paddles, group sex, leather clubs or rentals like "The Fist, the Whole Fist, and Nothing but the Fist."

Sex is amazing and wonderful. Let your imagination run wild. There is so many things that you can do to spice up your sex life. Give your inner "naughty girl/guy" a chance to come out.

5.) Always ask to see ID and carry a condom. Enough said.

I agree… "ENOUGH SAID".

6.) Schedule a weekly date that invites more romance into your life. This could be by yourself (yes, you can be your own date), with friends (being out and about simply creates more opportunity to meet others) or with a special someone.

The more you date, the more you can relax and enjoy dating, the more chances you will have to find your partner.

7.) Try something new. Nothing invigorates you - or your sex life - like the novel. The best part about this is that that can be almost anything in and out of the bedroom. Just remember to check your state's laws regarding public nudity, use of sex toys, sodomy…

Have fun, be safe and go for it!

8.) Reconnect with an old flame, especially if you have unfinished business. Heed, however, former lovers who are likely to burn you - once again - ex-spouses, former live-ins, and anyone you left at the altar.

This one is the one I have the largest disagreement. There is usually a reason your ex is your ex. Having been burned by ex's in the past. I find that it can have disastrous results. If you find the urge to reconnect to strong to resist tread lightly because you will be traveling on ground where angels fear to tread. Trust me, I have the scars and treadmarks on my back. May 2008 be a year of wonderful exploration and new beginnings for you. Get out have some fun, kiss someone and let your heart have an opportunity to blossom with joy. I am going to post some links below that may help you in 2008 with your adventures.

11 "Don't-Tell-the-Wife" Secrets All Men Keep

8 Things No One Tells You About Marriage

Sex and the Single Mom: What a Mom Wants

Why You Should Have Sex Tonight

Double (or Triple) Your Pleasure in Bed

What Men Still Don't Understand

Diary of an Affair

Five Ways To Get Her In Bed

The Secret to GREAT Sex!